Will we get back together?

The word to notice in will we get back together is we. You are still saying it, weeks or months after the ending, and that tells us something about where you are standing before any card is turned. It is not a mistake and it is not a sign of anything except that the two of you were a unit long enough for the grammar to outlast the relationship.

Here is the position, and it does not move for anybody: this is a question we never answer, not with a yes, a no, a lean, or a season. A reunion is two people deciding, and a card can reach one of them at most. What a reading can do is look at the decision that is actually in your hands, which is bigger than it looks and is being made every day whether or not you have noticed.

What this reading is looking at

The love spread below reads three seats: where you are now, your ex as far as anybody outside their life can honestly see them, and the space the two of you left behind. The middle card describes what has been visible since the ending, the messages or the lack of them, and it does not describe intentions. The third card is usually where the reading lives, because the space between two people after a breakup has a shape, and most people asking this already know something about it that they have been careful not to say.

Why will we get back together is never answered here

Anyone who answers this with a yes is selling you a wait, and anyone who answers it with a no is selling you a different story with the same margin. We would rather say plainly that nobody can see another adult’s decision before they have made it, and that a deck has no view into somebody else’s spring.

There is a second honest thing, and it tends to help more than the first. Not knowing is the condition you are in, and it may last a while, and the question is not how to end it by force but what to do with your own week while it goes on.

The decision inside the question

Underneath will we is a set of smaller questions that are entirely yours: whether to keep the door open, at what cost, for how long, and whether you would walk back through it if it opened tomorrow. Most people have not answered the last one honestly, because the hoping has taken up the room the answering would need.

It is worth trying, on paper, before you draw. If your ex messaged tonight and asked to try again, what would you want to be different by Christmas, and what would you do if by Christmas it was not? That is not a trick. It is the decision you are already making by default, and default decisions are the ones people regret.

What would have to be different

The reason it ended is still in the room unless something has moved, and the hardest part of this question is that a reunion does not remove it. It puts it back on the table with both of you a little more tired. The people who get back together and stay together tend to be the ones who could name, in one plain sentence, what ended it and what has changed since.

The Judgement card gets read elsewhere as a promise of return, figures rising from coffins at the sound of a trumpet, and it is not that. It is a card about being called to account for something and answering honestly, which in this reading is usually the reader’s own part in the ending.

The two things that come up most

The first is that the version of the relationship being hoped for is the version from before the ending, and that version is no longer available to anybody, because the ending is now part of it. The second is how much of the reader’s week is on hold: the plans not made, the evenings kept clear, the phone face up at dinner. If you want the door read properly rather than the person, the will my ex come back quiz looks at how it was closed and by whom, and will he come back is the page for the weeks when the count is the loudest thing in the room.

What to do while it is open

Write down, today, the reason it ended, in the words you would use to a friend rather than the ones you used to each other, and put a date on it. Then leave it alone. You do not have to decide anything about the door tonight, and you do not have to close it to be honest about what is on the other side. What you are allowed to do is stop paying for the wait in evenings, and that starts with knowing what you would be going back to.

Come back whenever the question gets loud again, and if the door does open, you will know what you want from it before you walk through, which is more than most people get.