Why am I single?
Not what is wrong with you, because nothing is. The pattern that keeps the door half closed.
Not what is wrong with you, because nothing is. The pattern that keeps the door half closed.
Nothing is wrong with you, and this quiz does not start from the idea that something is. Being single is not a verdict, and plenty of good people are single for reasons that are dull and practical rather than psychological. What is also true is that most of us have one habit that keeps the door half closed, and it is almost always a strength that has grown a shadow. Ten ordinary moments follow: a set-up offered, a free Saturday, a message that deserves an answer. Answer as you actually are rather than as you would like to be, and the pattern will show itself.
question 1 of 10
A friend offers to set you up with somebody. What is your first reaction?
- Careful. You want to know a lot before you agree to anything
- Yes, and you are already thinking about what they would need
- Maybe. You would want a picture and the basics first
- Yes in principle. You look at the calendar and it is November
- A small flinch you would not say out loud
the questions in this quiz
A friend offers to set you up with somebody. What is your first reaction?
- Careful. You want to know a lot before you agree to anything
- Yes, and you are already thinking about what they would need
- Maybe. You would want a picture and the basics first
- Yes in principle. You look at the calendar and it is November
- A small flinch you would not say out loud
A first date goes well. What happens on the way home?
- You run the list, and something on it is not quite right
- You enjoyed it, and you do not let yourself enjoy it too much
- You compare, once, and then feel bad about comparing
- You are pleased, and already planning what you could do for them
- You are pleased, and you wonder where this would fit in your week
On a second date, they ask you something personal.
- You give the short version. The long one is not on the table yet
- You answer, and then turn the question straight back to them
- You answer, and note carefully how they take it
- You answer honestly, and the answer is mostly about work
- You answer around the part that still hurts
A free Saturday with nothing planned.
- Not a thing that happens. Saturday has had a plan since August
- Lovely. Your own company is good company
- You end up helping somebody with something
- You enjoy it, and you would rather wait for the right person than fill it
- It runs a bit long, and old thoughts get in
Somebody texts to say they had a good time and would like to do it again.
- You answer warmly and offer three dates that would suit them
- You wait a while so you do not seem too keen, and then answer
- You answer, and think about whether you are sure about them
- You mean to answer, and you answer on Thursday
- Your first feeling is tiredness, and then warmth, in that order
Where does most of your evening go, on a normal week?
- Work, or the side thing, or the people who depend on you
- Whoever needed something from you that day
- Your own place and your own things, and you like it that way
- The apps, briefly, and then something better
- Quiet, and some of it goes to thinking about before
What do people say about you when they are being nice?
- That you are hard to read, and worth the trouble
- That you would do anything for anybody
- That you know what you want
- That they have no idea how you fit it all in
- That you have been through it and you are still kind
Somebody good is interested, available, and straightforward about it. What is the first thing that happens in you?
- A small check for the catch, and you are not proud of asking
- You start working out what you could be for them
- You start weighing it. Is this the one, or nearly
- You think about the diary before you think about them
- Something old turns over in your chest
Think about the last thing that was promising and then stopped.
- It was good, and never quite certain enough
- It got close and you got busy, and you are not sure that was an accident
- You gave a great deal and it was not returned, so you stopped
- Three weeks went by and neither of you picked it up again
- It was fine. It simply was not the one that ended
Finish it honestly. If nothing changed for two years, you would feel...
- Safe
- Tired
- Restless
- Fine, and a bit sad about the word fine
- Relieved, and then not relieved
The quiz itself runs in the browser. With scripts turned off you can still read every question here.