A small quiz

Is he stringing me along?

Is he keeping you on a string, or is he just slow?

9 questions 2 minutes

A pastel kite on a long string tangled in a tree branch against a pink evening sky, soft watercolour illustration

Is he keeping you on a string, or is he just slow?

Slow and stringing along can look identical for months, which is why this question keeps people awake. The difference is not in how much he texts. It is in whether anything ever moves, and in what happens when you stop pulling. These nine questions look at the pattern rather than at the last message, because a pattern is much harder to argue with at two in the morning.

2 minutes · 9 questions

the questions in this quiz

  1. He goes quiet for four days. What happens when he comes back?

    • He explains, and the explanation is boring and true
    • He picks up as though no time passed, warm as ever
    • He apologizes and says he is bad at this, again
    • He appears exactly when you had started to let go

  2. Do plans survive contact with the calendar?

    • Yes, though it takes him a while to get to an actual date
    • About half of them get moved
    • Rarely. Something always comes up
    • There have not been many plans to move

  3. When the future comes up, what does he do?

    • Engages, carefully, in shorter horizons than you would like
    • Turns it into a joke
    • Gets awkward and says he does not want to promise anything
    • Says the right things, and then nothing changes

  4. How much do you know about his actual life?

    • A lot. His week, his work, his family, his mess
    • The outline. Not much detail
    • Quite a lot, including the part where he told you he is not ready
    • What he chooses to tell you, and it changes

  5. He is warmest when:

    • It is ordinary. A weekday, nothing special
    • You are together, and it cools in between
    • He is being honest with you about what he cannot give
    • He wants something, and you have noticed the timing

  6. What happens when you pull back a little?

    • He notices, and asks if you are all right
    • Not much, and then eventually he resurfaces
    • He gives you room, because he thinks that is what you want
    • He appears within a day or two, warmer than usual

  7. Has he ever told you clearly what he can and cannot offer?

    • Yes, and what he described is what has actually happened
    • He has hinted. Never said
    • Yes, once, kindly, and you have been hoping he would change his mind
    • No. He keeps it deliberately open

  8. Who else is in the picture?

    • Nobody, as far as you know, and you have asked
    • You suspect someone, but nothing is confirmed
    • He has said he is seeing how things go, in general
    • You do not know, and the not knowing never ends

  9. How do you feel two hours after seeing him?

    • Good. Steady
    • Happy, then a small dip you cannot account for
    • Sad, in a way you have got used to
    • Wired, and already watching your phone

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