A small quiz

Does my ex miss me?

Does he miss you, or does he miss the idea of you?

8 questions 2 minutes

A man's knitted scarf left on the back of a wooden chair beside a window, autumn light, soft watercolour illustration

Does he miss you, or does he miss the idea of you?

Missing somebody is not one feeling, it is at least four, and they arrive wearing similar clothes. Someone can ache at 11pm and feel nothing on Saturday. Someone can miss the shape of their week and call it your name. None of that is knowable with certainty from the outside, and this quiz will not pretend otherwise. What it will do is sort the evidence you already have into something you can actually look at.

2 minutes · 8 questions

the questions in this quiz

  1. What contact has there been, and when does it tend to arrive?

    • Daytime, ordinary hours, about ordinary things
    • Around specific dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays
    • Late, and usually after something has gone wrong for him
    • None

  2. When he does reach out, what is actually in the message?

    • Something about you. A question, a memory that has your name in it
    • Something about him, at length
    • Something practical, with a bit of warmth attached
    • It has not happened

  3. Has he asked anything about your actual life since it ended?

    • Yes, and he remembered the answer afterward
    • Yes, in the general way you ask anyone
    • He mostly tells rather than asks
    • There has been no conversation to ask in

  4. What has happened to the things of yours that were at his place?

    • He returned them carefully, or asked when you would like them
    • They are still there, unmentioned
    • He made a small event of returning them
    • There was nothing, or it was dealt with quickly and cleanly

  5. What does he do online?

    • Nothing you can read anything into
    • Watches your stories, never responds
    • Posts a great deal about how well he is doing
    • Occasionally reacts to something small and specific to you

  6. Between the two of you, who was more attached to the routine?

    • Him. He liked the rhythm, the Sundays, the way it ran
    • You, if you are honest
    • Both, equally, and it was one of the good parts
    • Neither. It was never that settled

  7. When it ended, what did he say about himself?

    • That he needed to work something out
    • That he did not want to lose you specifically
    • Very little. He went quiet
    • That he did not know what he wanted

  8. If you had to guess what he misses, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

    • You. Your voice, the way you notice things
    • Having someone. Not being alone on a Wednesday
    • Who he got to be around you
    • You do not think he is thinking about it

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